The Empty City: Death of a Bastard Daughter Written and Created by Vember Judgement Based on the short story ‘The Empty City’ 1996 Best Submission from Graphic Communication Arts High School- Bertelsmann Scholastic Writing Contest By Christopher Baez ------------- Issue 1: The engulfing silence... Pg1 (Pleasant Water Valley, Georgia) Splash Page. A grand opening shot of the Pleasant Water Trailer Park, the moon shinning over the numerous trailers that seemingly stretch to the rural horizon. A small lake is seen to the right of the page, not too far away from the trailers. In the main focus of the foreground is the Bermias Trailer, a terribly rundown excuse for a home. The trailer sits upon a small hill overlooking all the other trailers in the valley. A group of raccoons are sniffing about the overflowed trashcan just next to the front door. One in particular is gnawing on a soda can. A caption box in the lower right-hand portion of the page reads the creator info. Caption: The Empty City: Death of a Bastard Daughter Written and Created by Vember Judgement Artwork by ?       Pg2 Panel 1: A shot inside the livingroom area of the trailer, as Ginevra Bermias is sitting on the couch, drunk beyond the meaning of the word. The entire floor around her is filthy with trash and heaps of empty liquor bottles. She is looking to her right, staring out the window and noticing the sound the raccoons are making digging in her garbage cans. She doesn’t notice the small dark blood trail on her carpet, leading from a blotch at her feet to the bathroom door to the left of the panel. A huge ‘White Power’ flag is hung just a little crookedly above her head. Her tight bicycle shorts and baggy stained T-shirt shows just how grotesque she really is. Ginevra: Damn 'coons! Russl'n round my trash again!? Panel 2: A shot of Ginevra's fat feet kicking some liquor bottles at her feet. One of the bottles has a noticeable trickle of blood on it. Ginevra: Onica! Get yer little butt out here and help yer momma shoo away them 'coons before they make a mess of the trash! Panel 3: A shot of Ginevra standing up off the couch, suddenly noticing the blood trail leading to the door. Ginevra: ONICA! Why’n the Hell is there blood on mah carpet!? Onica? Panel 4: A side shot of Ginevra knocking on the door hard with the back of her right hand. Ginevra: Onica, are ya in there!? Ain’t ya hear’n me holler’n at ya!? Pg3 Panel 1: A shadowed profile shot of Onica just behind the door, grabbing onto the sink with her left hand to hold herself up. Snuggly holding her favorite unicorn plush to her chest with her right arm, Onica is staring at herself in the mirror. Being there isn’t much light in the bathroom, her features are shadowed, save for the dark droplets of blood dripping off her face. Ginevra (From behind the door): ONICA! Onica: Ah'm in hea, momma...In hea... Panel 2: A close-up shot of the unicorn plush held to her chest, droplets of blood all over it. The same unicorn character’s image is on the chest area of her nightgown, tears of dried blood over it. Ginevra: There's blood all ova mah carpet! You betta tell yo momma why! Onica: It's mah blood, momma... Ginevra: Ya gett'n yo period already!? You ain't no woman yet! Panel 3: A half-face shot of Onica looking at herself in the mirror. The top of her light blonde hair is dark with fresh blood, which is tearing down her face. Her light blue eyes are wide with fear. Onica: Mah head hurts, momma…Ah think Ah’m dy’n… Ginevra: Can't die from dat kind of bleed'n! Now git out've the bathroom now! Onica: But momma... Ginevra: GIT! Pg4 Panel 1: A horrific full-bodied shot of Onica standing in the bathroom doorway, her skinny body barely able to hold itself up. The blood from the top of her head has dripped down all over the front of her powder blue nightgown. She is now holding her unicorn plush by its horn, both her arms limp at her sides. The same wide-eyed horrific look on her face remains. She literally looks like the walking dead. Onica: Ya wrong, momma...Ah'm dy'n, and it's yo fault... Panel 2: A shot of Onica falling face forward into Ginevra’s arms, who screams out in shock. Ginevra: ONICA!!! Panel 3: A shot of Ginevra's face, as she places her left fist to her mouth in shock, Onica’s face buried in her large left shoulder. Ginevra: C’mon Onica, git up…Honey, you’re scarring yo momma now, c’mon…Aw damn, what did Ah done do this time? Pg5 (Note: This entire page is set in a slightly blurry, sepia-toned flashback.) Panel 1: A shot of Onica sitting ‘Indian-style’ on the floor, hoisting her unicorn plush in front of her. She has a slightly happy smile on her face playing with her plush. In the right hand background is Ginevra, holding an empty bottle over her face. Ginevra: Hey girl, mah booze done run out. Git dressed and go git me some more! Onica: But momma, Ah’m play’n now…Can’t Ah do it later? Panel 2: A ‘horrific’ shot of Ginevra hoisting the bottle in the air in a fury, about to hit Onica over the head from behind. Onica holds her arms up to protect herself. Ginevra: Ya disrespecting little trash, don’t ever talk back to me! Onica: Momma, don’t! (Back to Reality) Panel 3: A shot of Ginevra holding her forehead with her left hand in total shock. Ginevra: Oh no, Ah really done it now! Panel 4: A shot of Onica’s limp body cradled in Ginevra’s enormously fat arms. Her mouth is hung slack, her eyes half closed, the plush still held to her chest. Onica: Momma…Mah head hurts… Ginevra: Don’t worry none, honey…Ah won’t let ya die like this…Not this way. Pg6 Panel 1: A behind the back shot of Ginevra walking towards the lake near the trailer park. She has just passed a sun-bleached sign which reads: Lake Pleasant Illegal Dumping $200 Fine Panel 2: A profile shot of Onica struggling to open her eyes, moaning. She does not yet realize the back of her head is submerged in lakewater.   Onica: Oh…Mah head really hurts, momma… Panel 3: A ¾ shot of Ginevra wadding waist-deep in the water, holding Veronica in the water while tears stream down her face. Onica: No momma...Don't put me in the...lake... Ginevra: First yo daddy up and leaves me when you wuz still in mah belly...Den yo half sister runs away with dat pimp...And now Ah'm gonna lose mah little Onica... Onica: Momma, no...Ah'll be a good girl, promise Ah will... Panel 4: A shot of a trembling Ginevra about to walk out of the lake, her lower half drenched. She clutches to her shirt while looking to right, a look of fright on her face, hoping no one saw what she just did. The air bubbles from Onica is seen in the extreme right of the panel, her plush floating on the surface. Ginevra: Please forgive me Jesus...But Ah can't go ta jail...Jus' can't... Pg7 Panel 1: An overhead, near-full page shot of a shadowed Onica sinking into the lake, her eyes wide open in shock. Her mouth is open in horror, as the air bubbles rise from it to the surface of the water. Floating on the surface above her is the unicorn plush. Panel 2: A shot of small air bubbles rising in water. Panel 3: A shot of the lake, as the water is calm and serene. Floating in from the left are a few of Laurenessa pink angelwing feathers, flying in with the wind. One in particular has just touched the water, tiny ripples around it. Pg8 Panel 1: A shot of Laurenessa's two bare feet standing on the top of the water. A thin pink aura emanates from them, causing the water below them to wave away from them. Panel 2: A grand shot of Onica’s ‘orb-like’ spirit energy as it has just left the lake surface, it’s blue hue flashing very brightly. At the extreme right foreground is Laurenessa's delicate hands reaching out for it. Laurenessa: Oh, you poor thing… Panel 3: A shot of Onica’s spirit orb hovering in front of Lauren’s right hand. The blue smoke-like energy from Lauren’s hand and from the orb intertwine. Several pink feathers flutter about in the background. Laurenessa: Such a high level of innocence and purity. Your soul is rare amongst those of this corrupted world, Onica Bermias… Panel 4: A sudden shot of Onica’s faded body image appearing in the same space as her soul orb. While the soul orb is much more visible than her image, the reader can clearly tell she’s wearing the same nightgown she died in. Laurenessa: While I would be more than happy to take you to a Heaven you deserve, - Pg9 Panel 1: A near full-page, full-bodied frontal shot of Laurenessa hovering over the lake, holding Onica’s now solid body in her arms. Her wings are up and out, looking very brilliant against the backdrop of the lake behind her. Seemingly hundreds of feathers flutter about in the background. Her long dark hair and black and gray robes flutter in the wind. The moonlight reflects off of the very large rapier hanging unsheathed from a sash around her waist. Laurenessa: -I’m afraid you’re needed elsewhere. Panel 2: An overhead shot of Laurenessa holding Onica’s body out, about to place her within a small white vortex that has just appeared in front of them. Laurenessa: Help purify The Empty City… Panel 3: An upper bodied shot of Laurenessa clasping her hands in prayer, as half of Onica’s body is inside the vortex. Laurenessa: Make it equal to your soul. Pg10 (Comic now shifts to The Empty City.) Panel 1: A shot of the same white vortex of light from Pg9 appearing in the dark gray overcast sky of the Empty city. Halfway out of the vortex is Onica, who is about to fall head-first from the it. At the bottom of the panel are the tops of skyscrapers. Panel 2: A close full-bodied shot of Onica limply falling head-first along the side of a dilapidated skyscraper. Many of the windows are broken, and there are cracks in the visage. Panel 3: A far away shot of Onica continuing her decent alongside the skyscraper. Main focus of the panel is the background, to show how massive The Empty City really is. As far as the eye can see are hundreds upon of skyscrapers, each looking not much different than the other. Several bolts of lightning strike from the gray clouds above. Panel 4: A shot underneath the falling Onica, the wind whipping through her body rapidly. Her eyes are open wide in shock. Onica: Huh? Pg11 Panel 1: An overhead shot of Onica, heading towards the street a few feet below her. Her arms are out at her sides in panic. Onica: AHHH!!! Panel 2: A profile shot of Onica stopping a few inches above the ground, a huge gust of wind blowing beneath her. She has covered her face and head with her arms. Panel 3: A profile shot of Onica peaking slightly from behind her arms, suddenly realizing she’s laying a foot off the ground, floating midair. Onica: W-What the heck!? Panel 4: A shot of Onica looking down at her toes, about to touch the ground feet first. The road she’s on seems to seep into the horizon. Her face has lit up happily. Onica: Wow! Pg12 Panel 1: An upper bodied shot of Onica smiling, crossing her arms and looking up at the skyscrapers towering over her. A gust of wind is blowing through her hair. Onica: Don’t believe Ah’ve ever had a dream like this! Panel 2: A bottom bodied shot of Angelice’s legs in the process of skipping along. Ugly red keloids poke out of the ripped up dirty white stocking, her yellow dress shoes scuffed and worn. A droplet of ice cream just hit the ground. Angelice: (Giggle) Panel 3: A behind the back shot of Onica looking over her shoulder, a look of fright across her face. Angelice (Off-Panel): Onicaaaaaaaaaa… Panel 4: A shot of Onica clasping her hands in fear, not realizing Angelice is in the background, skipping towards her. Angelice is in complete shadow, though her light blue glowing eyes can be seen. Angelice: Onicaaaaaaaaaa… Onica: Who’s call’n mah name! Who’s out there!? Panel 5: A shot of Angelice’s legs again, as they are floating a few inches off the ground, being propelled forward by air. Pg13 Panel 1: A grand shot of Onica in the process of falling backward on her butt, a gust of wind blowing through Onica signifying Angelice just flew right up to her. Angelice is licking from her ice-cream cone, which she holds with both hands. Just like her legs, her arms and face are covered by the red keloids, which look bright against her milky white skin. Her tattered yellow party dress is windswept, as the huge bow tying up her dirty graying hair. Her face though is shadowed, save for her light blue glowing eyes. Angelice: Hello Onica…I’m very glad you’ve come to play with me… Onica: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Panel 2: A full-bodied profile shot of Angelice crouching in front of Onica. Angelice rests her left arm over her knees while offering her ice-cream cone. Onica is on her back, trying to crawl away backwards from Angelice, who’s face is shadowed from the reader but in clear sight of Onica. Onica: Ohhh… Angelice: Don’t be afraid…I’m here to be your friend and nothing more, Onica. Onica: H-How do ya know mah name!? What are ya anyway!? Angelice: I just guessed it, is all. Glad to see I was right, I’m a really good guesser when it comes to names. As far as what I am…That you’ll soon see. Onica: W-What are ya do’n in mah dream!? I don’t dream scary thangs like you… Angelice: Dream? Don’t you even know where you are, you silly goof? Pg14 Panel 1: A frontal facial shot of Angelice, finally showing what she looks like. What was once the face of a pretty young girl is now a horrible keloid covered mess. Her glowing light blue eyes are sunken in and surrounded by death-darkened skin. Holding the ice cream right next to her face, she smiles very wickedly, her eyes half closed. There is a large dead cockroach sticking out of the ice-cream. Angelice: These hollow children seem to get stupider and stupider as time passes in this city…Oh well. Would you like to have a lick of my ice-cream before I rip your skin off and devour that yummy smelling soul of yours? Panel 2: A shot of a horrified Onica in the process of getting off the ground to run. Panel 3: A shot of Angelice cocking her head to one side, tossing the ice-cream over her shoulder. Her smile is even wider, looking very horrific. Angelice: What a cute southern drawl her soul has…Wonder what it will sound like screaming bloody murder. Panel 4: Extreme behind the back upper bodied shot of Angelice, as her arms and nails have elongated out to her sides. Angelice: Time to snip, snip, snip away that lovely skin of yours. Pg15 Panel 1: Extreme action shot of Angelice chasing after Onica, her elongated arms and nails in the air, ready to strike. Onica is looking back in terror. Angelice: No light at the end of the tunnel for you, my pet! Just an eternity of boiling rivers, horrible food and really, REALLY bad company! Panel 2: A shot of Onica tripping, about to hit the pavement hard. Angelice: Damn, why do they always have to trip before I’ve had my fill of the chase!? Do you not understand the concept of predator and prey? Panel 3: A shot of Angelice high above Onica, about to jump down onto her. Onica is trying to scramble off the ground, looking over her shoulder and knowing she is about to be attacked. Angelice: Got you! Onica: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Panel 4: A sudden shot of a huge purple beam hitting Angelice in her left side, knocking her away from Onica. Onica is bent over, covering her head in fright. The huge beam takes up most of the background. Onica: GASP! Pg16 Panel 1: A shot of Angelice crashing halfway into a nearby wall. Panel 2: A grand full-bodied frontal shot of Syphis in a boxing position. His bandaged hands are singed with soot, smoking from the blast he hit Angelice with. His coffee-toned skin has a slight blue hue to it. Syphis: Are you that sick to attack a little kid from behind, Angelice!? I thought I told you and the other HellBeings to stay outta this hood! Panel 3: A shot of Angelice standing in front of the hole in the wall, in the process of dusting off the front of her dress. Her arms are back to normal size. She isn’t even looking up at Syphis off panel, paying more attention to her filthy dress. Angelice: Catching me when I'm not looking as usual, eh Syphis? Not very fair of you to do that you know. Pg17 Panel 1: A shot of Angelice running forward, reaching out with her elongated arms and nails. Angelice: Guess I’m going to have to rip your arms off again…That was so much fun the last time I did it! Panel 2: A shot of Onica in the process of running away, as Syphis and Angelice jump towards each other above her. Syphis: Yeah, real funny HellBeing! Let’s see how hilarious you are when yo head’s half a block away from the rest of yo body! Panel 3: A shot of Onica on the ground looking on, a shock and fright like she's never felt before over her face. Panel 4: A sudden shot of Lenora’s decrepit left hand grabbing Veronica's right arm. Panel 5: A shot of Onica looking up at Lenora’s face, shocked. Lenora Lenora: If you value the worth of your soul, it would be best to come with me. Unless you WANT to become a snack for the damned. Pg18 Panel 1: A cinematic shot of Lenora pulling Onica along in the lower-right foreground, as Angelice has just brushed aside another one of Syphis’s huge knuckle blasts in the background. Panel 2: A shot of Lenora continuing to pull Onica along, heading towards a dark alley. Panel 3: A frontal action shot of Onica pulling her hand away from Lenora’s grasp. Onica: Let go! Ya hurt’n me! Panel 4: A shot of Onica backing away from Lenora, partially shadowed by the alley darkness. Onica: Where am Ah!? An' who are ya anyway!? Where's my momma!? Why am I have’n this nightmare!? Lenora: Whoa, hey, too many questions all at once! Calm yourself! Pg19 Panel 1: A shot of Lenora leaning against the wall behind her, looking away from Onica. Though having a sort of sad, shy look about her, Lenora’s ‘James Dean’ pose makes her look cool. Lenora: First off, This ain’t a dream. Second, my name is Lenora, and I'll be your Realmguide for the duration of your stay here in The Empty City. This is the place where the recently dead- i.e. you- go so people like me can send you to where you need to go. If you're good, Heaven, if not good, Hell. Simple. Panel 2: A shot of Angelice and Syphis standing face to face. Syphis is preventing Angelice from stabbing his face with her nails. Lenora Caption: And third, if you were wondering just what happened back there, you almost got your soul shredded and eaten by a psycopathic Hellguide named Angelice. She devours any recently dead soul she finds. Panel 3: A shot of Onica screaming up at Lenora. Onica: What'r ya talking about!? Ah'm not dead! Ah'm standing right hea, ain’t Ah? Lenora: Hey, you might be standing there, but that doesn’t mean your alive. Panel 4: A shot of Lenora knocking on Onica’s chest as if she would a door. Onica just stands there, stunned. Lenora: Knock, Knock. Anybody home? Onica: … Lenora: Kind of hollow, isn’t it? Maybe you want to check your body temperature, or notice you feel like you haven’t eaten in days. You ain’t exactly the same as you were when you were alive.   Pg20 Panel 1: A shot of Onica putting her right hand over her heart. Lenora stands a foot away, her arms crossed. Onica: Ah...Ah can feel mah heartbeat, but mah body…Mah body’s cold, and it does feel kinda empty…Why? Lenora: What you think is your body is actually an afterform based on your previous living body. It keeps your soul protected until you reach your final destination. The heartbeat you feel is actually your soul pulsating around in there. Onica: But Ah’m not dead…I can’t be….Stand’n right here… Panel 2: A shot of Onica looking at her hands, her mouth open in grief. Lenora is standing right behind her, holding her shoulders. Lenora: Being your soul’s suffering from a bout of amnesia, you were probably murdered when you were alive. It’s a common effect of unnatural death, but it’ll wear off. Onica: Ah…I said Ah’m not dead…Ah…Ah’m… Lenora: Sorry to burst your bubble girl, but everything you was and were don't exist anymore. You're dead now, and I have to help you in finding out where you’re going to go next from here. Panel 3: A sudden shot of Onica falling forward, fainting. Lenora just stands there with a disappointed look, not even bothering to stop Onica from falling. Lenora: Oh crap. Panel 4: An upper bodied shot of Lenora in the act of brushing her hands through her bushy hair. She is crouched over Onica, who is out cold, laying on her side, back to the reader. Lenora: Gotta stop telling them the facts before they're prepared to accept it…Sigh.                    Pg21 Panel 1: A shot of Lenora making a upward gesture with her glowing hands, as Onica's limp sleeping body floats in front of her. Lenora: C’mon, kid. Gotta get a lot of stuff cleared up with you before you go to Heaven…Or maybe Hell, which I doubt. But then again…It is kind of strange you ended up here. Panel 2: A full frontal shot of Lenora walking down the alley, as Onica floats behind her, cocooned in a bright red energy ball. Lenora:  Most kids just go strait to Heaven, just because they’re kids. Only reason I could think to why you’re down here is…Damn. Panel 3: A slightly overhead shot of Lenora and the floating cocooned Onica heading off into the endless horizon of The Empty City. Lenora is looking over her shoulder at Onica. Lenora: I wonder if Laurenessa sent you down here to be one of us…If that’s the case, you ain’t exactly gonna like living here for the next hundred years…Believe me, I know. Panel 4: A shot of Vincent's booted foot resting on the edge of a rooftop. Vincent: The time has come, my brothers and sisters. The war I warned you of is coming to pass. Pg22 Splash Page. Grand shot of the well muscled Vincent looking over the edge slightly, his gigantic concrete hammer over his left shoulder. He has a slightly concerned look on his face. Next to him are some other HellGuide children, standing behind Vince at attention. Vincent: Our greatest enemy has finally been sent. End of Issue 1